absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
