Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
