I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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