You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Watching her eat just hurts me
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
