I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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