it was like his penis was on wheels.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
