I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
tell me about the fingering
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