I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
