yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
