Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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