Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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