2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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