it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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