thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
