Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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