and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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