Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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