Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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