I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize