I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
