Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
