Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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