i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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