I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
