david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
