Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
