I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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