I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
