Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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