So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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