His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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