Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
