It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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