okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
