What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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