State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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