her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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