I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
