508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
