we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
