so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You dont lie about slip and slides
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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