We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
sex in a hospital.. check
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
