so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
