I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
