Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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