How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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