all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize