I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
