just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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