Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
