i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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