Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
