the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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