I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize