after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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