we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
