Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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