I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
