Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
A+ Viking dick
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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