It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
