There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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