On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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