Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
