Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
