if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
