Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i've created a new STD.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
