Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
