My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
