I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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