Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize