On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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