Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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