11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
