does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
