We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
